Seeing Clearly
by WitchAJ
Summary: Sirius and Remus come to see what has been there all the time, feelings they had been afraid to recognize. I apologize for the terrible summary. SBRL
1. Betraying Eyes

This is my first attempt at fan fiction. I hope I did alright. I will need your feedback to let me know. Thanks for taking the time to read my little story.

Yes, this is slash. If you have a problem with that, please find something else to read.

Disclaimer: All characters, setting, etc. belong to that lovely, brilliant, rich British lady. If they were mine, I would have put this chapter in the book. The plot is mine. JK Rowling, you should stop implying it and just say it already. Everyone with half a brain knows they're in love.

I'm trying to make this as accurate as possible. I have a big thing for accuracy. If you notice any mistakes I've made, kindly let me know and I will fix them. Constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

Now, please read on, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

(Edit- I changed the time in which the fic takes place, from October to December, as well as a few other minor details and wording. - Jan. 3, 2005)

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Sleepy grey eyes scanned the seventh year boys' dormitory of Gryffindor tower. It was still somewhat dark in the room, but it was by no means early that Saturday morning. This confused the owner of the aforementioned eyes until he happened to turn towards the window, noting that it was in fact raining. It was December after all, so rain was not unusual. The eyes then made their way across the room, seeing that a certain werewolf was still asleep, curled into a ball underneath the covers. The eyes found themselves glued to the sleeping face of Remus Lupin, adoringly watching him take one deep breath after another in a very deep and peaceful sleep.

Sirius Black was, of course, the owner of the grey eyes. Sirius Black was also having trouble removing said eyes from the view they had chosen. Not that it was a bad view, it was actually quite a lovely view. The only problem being that it was...not quite right, for one to gaze at one's best friend of the same gender in that way, for obvious reasons. Sirius shook his head, causing his shaggy black hair to fall in front of the offending eyes. However, Sirius found that lack of vision was not conducive to getting dressed and competently functioning in other daily necessities. He pushed his hair back out of his eyes and glanced around the room once more. James was still asleep, sprawled across the bed, covers twisted around him, partially trailing on the floor. Peter, he noticed, was already gone. At first he thought he was already at breakfast, but then he realized that it was Christmas break, and Wormtail had gone home for the holidays.

Once again, the stunning smoky eyes were drawn to the sleeping form of Remus. _Stop that_, he thought, silently cursing his eyes and their stupid staring issues. Blinking and shaking his head again, Padfoot slid off the edge of his four-poster bed and stood up slowly. He made his way over to his trunk, pulling off his nightshirt as he went. He pulled on his robes and stretched, arching his back slightly and raising his arms above his head. This was followed by a yawn as he turned around to find James and Remus still asleep. James was drooling....and snoring.

Sirius moved towards Remus' bed, treading softly so as not to wake either of the other boys. He watched Remus sleep some more, admiring the boy's light brown hair, slightly obscuring his pale face. Remus's mouth was open slightly as the deep breathing of sleep continued. Sirius bent down, admiring Remus' perfect features. He felt a strong temptation to kiss Remus just then, almost too strong. _No, that wouldn't be right. Remus is asleep–not that it would be a good idea when he is awake, but it would be unfair to him, seeing as he is currently be unable to protest._ He sighed sadly, wishing he could tell Remus how he felt, wishing he could be accepted. Sirius knew it could never happen though. He knew that no one could ever find out about his....preferences. He would be hated. Besides, Remus was a werewolf, and one of his best friends. The chances of him sharing Sirius'...preferences...were about one in a gillion. No deity could be so mean as to place so many burdens on as kind and fair a creature as Remus Lupin. Could they? Sirius was torn. On the one hand, he wished very much that Remus could love him. He wished that by some miracle, he was like Sirius—that he maybe secretly loved Sirius, as he had secretly loved Remus for so long. And on the other hand, Sirius felt that he couldn't wish such a thing on Moony. As much as he thought...no, knew, he knew...that he loved Remus, he didn't want to hurt him. He knew the pain and fear of carrying such a burden, and always worrying that someone would find out. Remus already had enough to fear with his lycanthropy. Sirius wanted him to be happy, even if that meant Sirius could not be with him in that happiness.

Sirius was still standing over Remus when James awoke and muttered, "'Morning Padfoot."

Sirius jumped, startled, and hit his head on the top of Moony's bedframe. He turned to see James smirking at him, and groaned, "Don't do that! What the hell are you trying to do, give me a bloody heart attack?"

"Sorry Padfoot. I didn't mean to scare you. What were you doing anyway?" Prongs inquired.

Sirius wracked his brain for a possible explanation. Leave it to James to catch him off guard. Then, in a stroke of self-proclaimed genius he replied, "Well Mr. Prongs, I was just contemplating the best way to wake Mr. Moony here. As you can see, he is still asleep. This should be remedied immediately. Don't you agree?"

James grinned mischievously, eyes sparkling with delight at the thought of getting such an early start on their daily pranking. "I see Mr. Padfoot. Yes, I believe that is quite a wonderful idea. Did you have anything in mind?"

"No, nothing in particular. I was hoping that you, my esteemed colleague, would be able to remedy that situation as well,"

"Hm," James said, ruffling up his already untidy hair as he pondered the possibilities, "Well, we could always spray him with water."

"Nah," Sirius shook his head, "We've used that one four times already."

"Okay then...." Prongs slipped into thought for a while. Then, he suddenly shouted, "I've got it!"

"What?" asked Sirius.

"We could transfigure his bed into a swamp!"

"That's bloody brilliant Prongs! So, how do we do it?"

"How do we do what?" Remus asked, yawning as he sat up in bed. Sirius and James spun around, shocked to see their friend awake. Moony laughed at the looks on their faces. "Well, what exactly were you up to so early in the morning?"

"We weren't up to anything. Whatever would give you that ridiculous idea? We would never dream of plotting something so early in the morning, would we Padfoot?" James said, trying—and failing horribly—to look innocent.

Sirius grinned and nodded in agreement. "Yes, we are far too noble for that. We don't need to be 'up to something' all the time," he said, with mock offense.

Remus snorted and said, "Last time I fell for that one, I ended up going to breakfast with green hair. Speaking of which, I'm hungry, so if you wouldn't mind postponing whatever prank you had planned, I'd like to get dressed and head down to the Great Hall, before Wormtail eats all the food. Oh, and by the way, next time you are plotting against someone who happens to be sleeping less than a meter away from you, I would suggest not shouting about it."

Sirius and James simultaneously slapped their palms on their foreheads in despair. That was sheer stupidity on their part. This was why they could not live without Remus, he was the only one of the Marauders with something that could pass for common sense. He could always figure out how to pull off a prank without getting caught. Mind you Sirius and James were the ones that usually came up with the initial ideas for pranking. They were very bright, but they had a tendency to act before thinking, which got them into trouble sometimes. Peter did most of the dirty work, such as stealing potions ingredients and sneaking beetles in to the Slytherins' food, the things that any of them could do. Remus was essential though. Without him, they would have had far more detentions than they actually got.

James and Sirius headed downstairs to the common room, waiting for Remus to catch up so they could go down to breakfast.

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Well, how did I do? Please review. Gah! I did it again. I've been accidently rhyming things all week long. Anyway, let me know what you thought of it, and I'll give you a virtual cookie.

The next chapter will be up as soon as get enough spare moments to write it. It may take a while, but please be patient and it will get done.


	2. Onward

Here we go. Chapter 2. I had a sudden inspiration, which was unexpected. Go me.

Thanks to my reviewers:

**alimonster**- Thank you. I appreciate you comments even if you dislike the category. That means a lot to me. Here you go. O (virtual cookie-it's a vanilla wafer)

**Xandria Nirvana-** Danke! I hope this was soon enough.

**Lilia Black-** Thank you so much! I have never been very confident in my writing skills. It makes me feel so good to hear a compliment from someone who doesn't actually know me.

**harrypotter, move over**- Interesting good, or bad?

* * *

Remus came down the stairs just in time to see James attempting to sneak up on Lily. Sirius waved him over and pointed out Prongs' whereabouts. _This should be good_, Sirius thought to himself, as Remus stepped up next to him, watching. They stood together, waiting eagerly for the show to begin.

James was crouched down low, trying to reach the armchair in which the lovely Ms. Evans was seated. He, quite surprisingly managed to pull this off...or did he? As he leaned around the side of the chair, with every intention of kissing her, a hand reached out and pushed his head backwards. It wasn't a slap. Her hand was still on James' face, as he was still attempting to reach her.

"James Potter! I am appalled that you think you have the right to just kiss me whenever you feel like it. Just because we are going together, that does not give you unlimited access to my personal space. And how could you think I would be stupid enough not to know you were right behind me?" She glared at him in quasi-mock anger.

"Well, I..I..I just thought that I might....Oh bloody hell. I'm sorry Lily. Will you forgive me?" James' apology was sincere, also surprising. Then again, he had waited so long and tried so hard to win her over, he had better do his absolute best to keep her.

Lily examined James' pitiful expression, testing its validity. It was a look no one had ever expected to grace the Marauder's face, but since Lily had finally given him the attention he sought, it was one he wore rather often. It was as easy for him to make Lily angry as it was to make her laugh. Unfortunately, he had a tendency to accomplish the former when he had the intention of causing the latter. This was a source of endless amusement for the other three Marauders.

Finally, after she was certain he was sincere, and that he had been tortured enough by the suspense, she spoke. "That's more like it. You are forgiven." With that, she pecked him on the cheek, and grinned broadly at him.

Remus and Sirius turned to look at each other, both smirking at James' look of defeat. One of the most humorous things for them to see was James, the arrogant, egotistical boy that he was, succumbing so easily to the will of a girl.

"Coming to breakfast James?" Sirius called out to him, as he and Remus turned to leave.

James shook his head in response, and gazed adoringly at Lily. "I think I'll wait."

"I've already eaten," the redhead told him. "It's awfully late James. You'd best go before everything is gone. I'll see you afterwards." She reached out and tried in vain to straighten his hair before he jumped out of reach.

"Alright. Later then!" James yelled as he ran out of the tower after Sirius and Remus. "Moony! Padfoot! Hold up!"

They stopped a little too quickly for James, who managed to knock them both over as he came flying down the hall, going to fast to stop. James was up in a moment, laughing hysterically as though this was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

Sirius, who had somehow wound up right on top of Remus, did not find the situation very funny at all. In fact, it was pure torture. There was Moony, inches away, the perfect kissing position. And there was Sirius, with the painful knowledge that kissing Remus would be very, very bad. He blushed deeply and tried to stand up. Unfortunately, he put his hand on a piece of parchment that one of them had dropped. This caused his hand to slide away, leaving him with no support. He wound up with his face buried in Remus' chest.

The first thought that came to mind was, _he smells good_, which was of course, also very bad. Sirius mentally slapped himself. He had to stop thinking of Remus that way, or he would never survive his last year at Hogwarts. Sirius hastily stood up, without slipping this time. His face was crimson. He desperately hoped neither James nor Remus noticed. He saw that Moony was still on the floor, and offered him a hand up. Remus took it, causing Sirius to blush deeper. His palms were sweaty, and his hands were shaking, two things he also hoped his dear Moony would not notice.

Remus, seemingly unaware of anything odd, said simply, "Thanks Padfoot."

Sirius nodded in reply and looked up, meeting Remus' eyes. He tried to smile and laugh it off, as he usually did with slightly embarrassing situations. Usually though, he did not care what anyone thought. Now he did care. He cared far too much. He didn't want to lose Moony as a friend simply because he couldn't keep his bloody emotions under control. Suddenly, he realized that he had not let go of Remus' hand. He looked down again and quickly dropped his hand, letting it hang awkwardly to the side. Remus did the same. Both apparently pretending nothing had happened.

Sirius glanced at James out of the corner of his eye, trying to see whether he had noticed anything. What would his best friend do if he found out Sirius was a bloody pouf? Nothing good he supposed. He would probably be disowned. He didn't even want to think about what might happen if they found out who he loved. Thankfully, James seemed oblivious. He was still catching his breath from laughing so hard.

What about Remus? Sirius looked at him. Remus was apparently very interested in a little spider that was crawling across the floor. He didn't look up to meet Sirius' glance. Padfoot could not tell if Remus was disgusted or embarrassed, but there was definitely an awkward tension in the air around them.

James finally managed to catch his breath and stop laughing, and looked over at his friends. "Alright, you two?" He asked them.

"Oh. Yeah. Fine." Sirius replied, somewhat shakily.

"Uh huh." Remus mumbled, still staring at the floor, though the spider was apparently gone. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, which he had a tendency to do when he was nervous about something.

James, ignorant as usual, just grinned and said, "Let's go then. I'm starving!"

Sirius, in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, shouted suddenly, "Oy! Moony! Prongs! Race you to the Great Hall!" And with that he took off running down the stairs, knowing James would probably win anyway, but still trying to put enough distance between them. It seemed to him that, by running the whole way there, he might be able to somehow leave his troubling thoughts behind.

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As I said before, school is time consuming. I will try very hard to update as soon as I can. No guarantees time wise. Please review. No flames, but constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. That is the best way to improve one's writing. So, please let me know how I did. Even if you didn't think it was that great, I'd love to hear your comments. Thanks! 


	3. Breakdown

Blehg. I'm really sorry I've taken so long. I'm going to go ahead and make the typical stupid excuses, and hope you don't all abandon me for being slow and unreliable. I did warn you though. Yeah. School has been completely evil. I have had all this work to do. And then, of course I had the worst writers block for the majority of the break. But then I had this major brainstorm at a completely inopportune moment. I got home and promptly forgot it. Then I remembered it and managed to write this chapter, which is not that great, but sort of necessary. So, at long last, here it is.

Oh yeah, nearly forgot to thank my reviewers:

**Xandria Nirvana **- Well, I dont' think James has a very definite character in the book. We don't know that much about how he behave around Lily, so I figure I can make him however I imagine him. Anyway, thanks.

**Sleeper6** - I know what you mean. I never get tired of the "finding out" fics either, which is essentially why I decided to write one of my own.

**Tanya J Potter **- Thanks. I do try to be funny, although I don't know that I'm very good at it. I'm sorry I took so long to update. I hope you'll forgive me.

**dragonlady44** - Well, I guess I already talked to you, but hello anyway. I hope to hear from you again soon.

**alimonster** - Thanks very much. I need all the compliments I can get. It keeps me sane-ish.

**geiona **- Yes, they are very cute. I'm glad you like them the way I've written them. The update obviously wasn't soon, but it is here nonetheless.

**Isa** - Thanks! I am rather proud of my Sirius. He is the only one I feel somewhat confident with. He is a lot of fun.

**Hells Angel **- Merry Christmas to you too! Your review really made me feel good. Thanks so much! That's exactly what I was going for.

**Elizabeth Tears** - Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. In relation to when you reviewed, I think this update was fairly soon, but definitely not in relation to my last update.

And now, on with the show....fic....whatever.

* * *

James, being the most athletic of the Marauders, did eventually catch up to Sirius and quickly pulled ahead of him. Remus was not far behind, but Sirius tried to keep his mind occupied with running. Unfortunately, Remus also managed to overtake him. This was unfortunate only because Sirius could not help noticing Remus' arse as it was directly in front of him. _Will it never end?_ Sirius thought, somewhat bitterly. _Why does it have to be him of all people?_ He shut his eyes and kept running, still trying desperately to clear his head. It seemed he could not run away from his problems. They were always fast enough to catch up with him.

Suddenly, Sirius felt himself, or at least his shoulders, collide with someone. He stopped moving his legs and opened his eyes to find Remus grinning at him, arms outstretched. His hands were gripping Sirius' shoulders, holding him back.

"I think it would be wise to keep your eyes open when you're running Padfoot. You might have come to a rather unpleasant stop had I not been here," Remus said, indicating the wall behind him.

Sirius was still breathing heavily from the run, and couldn't manage to find enough breath to make a reply. He merely nodded solemnly, too tired to pick up on Remus' mocking tone. His brain didn't feel like dealing with sarcasm at the moment, and opted to simply ignore it, as that was easiest. Trying to outrun your problems was very tiring, and clearly quite ineffective.

This particular stop was nearly as unpleasant as the wall. Once again, Sirius found himself in an extremely uncomfortable situation. The temptation was almost unbearable, especially because Remus was not letting go of him. He was probably afraid Sirius would not be capable of standing.

Sirius suddenly felt like crying, though he didn't really know why. He just had so many thoughts and feelings running through his head, none of which he could act on. It was so difficult to handle all at once. He had to pull himself together. He couldn't let Remus, or anyone else for that matter, see him cry. He was not the type of person who cried easily, it would be suspicious.

"Are you okay Sirius?" Remus asked, speaking softly. He pulled his hands back, one of them brushing the side of Sirius' face, seeming to linger a bit. Sirius shivered at the touch. Was it just his imagination, or did Moony do that on purpose?

_Don't kid yourself. Of course it was an accident. Remus is not queer, you are!_ He mentally chided himself. It then occurred to him that he had been asked a question. He thought about it for a moment, and knew that, honestly, he was not "okay," not in the least. However, he didn't want to tell Remus that, because then he would ask questions that Sirius really didn't want to answer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all," is what he wound up saying, in a completely unbelievable tone. He sincerely hoped Moony did not pick up on the slight shaking in his voice. Remus looked at him critically, but opted not to comment further on the matter. Instead he merely nodded and smiled weakly, as he turned to lead the way into the Great Hall.

The two boys made their way through the door and over to the Gryffindor table, plopping themselves down across from James. Sirius kept his head down, staring intently at his plate for the duration of the meal. He couldn't handle it. He knew that if he looked up, his eyes would be automatically drawn to Remus and he didn't want to feel that confusing mix of emotions again. The overwhelming love, fear, longing, and anger were just too much for him. Sirius heard Moony and Prongs talking cheerfully beside him, but he could not really hear what they were saying. He didn't even make an effort to participate in the discussion. He didn't feel like talking anyway. His voice might betray him again.

Finally, James looked over at him, concern etched all over his face. "Oy Padfoot, you're being awful quiet this morning. Are you feeling alright mate?"

Sirius was getting very tired of answering that question. "Yes, I am perfectly fine," he replied, his voice sounding rather harsh and bitter. He stabbed his fork roughly into something on his plate, not caring what it was, and shoved it into his mouth, chewing and swallowing without really tasting it.

James just stared at his friend for some time before remarking sarcastically, "Well, it certainly sounds like it."

With a sigh, Sirius looked up and said, "I'm just tired. I think I'm going to go back up to the tower and lie down for a bit. I'm not very hungry anyway." With that, he stood up, mutter a quick "See you later," and walked off.

When he got to Gryffindor tower, he threw himself onto his bed and pounded the pillow a few times. That didn't help much, so he picked it up, stuck it against his face, and screamed at the top of his lungs. That seemed to help a little, so he did it again. He lay there for a moment, face down on the pillow, silent. The screaming had felt good, but it didn't actually help him. _Why does everything have to be so hard? _Finally, he just broke down and let the tears flow. No one was there to see him, so he just let himself go. Eventually, he manage to cry himself into a fitful sleep.

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Gah, that was short. It annoys me, but oh well. The next chapter will be better. I actually made an outline for it, so it won't take as long to update this time. It will include the fluffy goodness we've all been waiting for! I'll get it up as soon as I can.

Reviews are what keep me alive enough to write. Please let me know how I'm doing, and be honest. I have no confidence in my writing, so any suggestions for improvement are welcome.


	4. Realizations

Wow, I think this is the longest chapter I have written so far. And yet, somehow, I'm still not entirely pleased with it. However, it is here, and it does contain the promised fluffy goodness. I have never written fluffy goodness before though, so you'll have to let me know if it's any good. I've never actually been in love with or kissed anyone before. I've only read about it, so I don't really know that much about the way it feels. I did my best though.

**Elizabeth Tears** - I know what you mean, about the forgetting thing. So, here is a much longer, and much quicker update for you.

**Autumn Thursday** - Aw, thank you so much! Your reviews (all three of them) really made my day. I'm glad you were able to get a good mental picture from my writing. That is what I really strive for.

**Dollface786** - Thank you! I'm glad you love it so much! You didn't have to wait too long for the fluffy goodness.

**Tanya J Potter** - Did I update soon enough? Can you forgive me?Oh please forgive me! You have a lovely year too.

**Lilia Black** - Thank you! I did try to add more conversations. I'm still not very confident though. I don't think I ever will be.

**Mars Explorer** - The fluffy goodness has landed!

**EC-Chan** -I'm glad you like the way I've protrayed the characters. Sirius and Remus are so much fun to play with. I hope you don't think this is too cliche, I try really hard to avoid that.

* * *

Sirius slowly came to, only to find himself enveloped in darkness. He couldn't figure out if this was due to the fact that his bed curtains were closed, or if it was nighttime. At the moment, he didn't particularly care. His dreams, though already fading quickly from his memory, had most definitely involved Remus...and kissing. Unfortunately, such things could only happen in dreams. After a moment of stretching, Sirius decided he may as well find out what time it was, and possibly get something to eat. He pulled back the curtains and loked lazily around the room, as was his usual habit upon waking up.

He jumped a bit when he spotted Remus sitting on his own bed across the room. It looked like he was...putting on lotion? _Since when does Moony wear lotion? Maybe it's something else though. You'll never know if you don't ask._ Sirius sat there for a moment, watching Remus. It would be suspicious if he didn't talk to him. He didn't want anyone to think something was up with him, especially after the way he acted earlier. Remus didn't seem to notice he was awake. He hadn't looked up at him anyway.

"Hey Moony," Sirius finally managed to say, "What are you doing?" Remus didn't appear startled. He must have known Sirius was awake. He was probably waiting for him to say something.

"Putting on lotion," Remus stated calmly, without looking up.

"Lotion? Isn't that kind of, well....poofy?" Sirius cringed slightly at his own words. He didn't know why he said that. It just sort of came out. It was probably his subconscious trying to betray him, or make Remus admit something that probably wasn't true anyway.

Remus blinked a couple of times, and raised his head slowly to stare at Sirius. He felt like he was being analyzed. Remus just kept staring at him, and Sirius was too scared and felt too stupid to stare back. Instead, he stared at his hands as though they were incredibly interesting. He could still feel Remus' eyes boring into him. He was starting to feel very uncomfortable, so he made himself look up. Remus was rubbing in lotion on his face, without taking his eyes off of Sirius.

Finally, he spoke, "I suppose it might be, but that's certainly no reason for me not to use it. It heals the skin. I use it because I hope it might help my scars fade faster. But you don't have to have scars to use lotion Padfoot. It feels good. Here, why don't you try some?"

Sirius didn't know what to say for a moment. This was starting to feel really awkward to him. He looked at Remus, who was smiling weakly at him, with an odd glint in his eyes, as though daring him.

"I don't know, Moony."

"What? Scared someone might think you're queer? Who cares if they do? Besides, I'm sure lot's of girls would appreciate a guy who takes care of his skin."

It occurred to Sirius then that he hadn't been on a date in a very long time. He had kept dating girls for a while after he realized he didn't actually like them the way he should. Then he eventually just stopped caring. He didn't bother with them at all anymore. It just wasn't worth it, breaking their hearts over and over. He just started turning them all down, until eventually, they stopped asking and seemed to assume it was either due to too much school work, or that Sirius had suddenly taken some sort of vow of chastity.

"Why should it make a difference? I don't need to do something just because a stupid girl might like it."

"Well, maybe you should Padfoot. Because you are starting to sound like one with a really bad case of PMS." Remus smirked at him.

Sirius snorted. He actually snorted. Then he moved on to real laughter. He loved it when Remus made him laugh, even if it was at his own expense. That seemed to break the tension in the air a bit. Well, maybe it wasn't in the air, it may have just been Sirius who felt it. At any rate, Sirius felt more at ease.

"Oh alright Moony. Why the hell not?" he said, flashing him a grin, "But you better bring that shit over here, because I am not getting up for it."

Remus smiled. "Now you're starting to sound more like the Padfoot I know." He got up and walked gracefully towards Sirius' bed. Then, he plopped down next to him in a decidedly ungraceful manner.

"Here, give me your hand," Remus said, holding up the bottle of lotion. Sirius acquiesced silently, letting Remus squeeze some of the substance into his hand. He shivered a bit.

"This stuff is really fucking cold Moony! You didn't tell me it would be cold!" Sirius glared at Remus in quasi-mock anger.

Remus nodded saying, "I know, but just put it on your face. Trust me, it feels good."

Sirius looked unconvinced at the idea that something so cold and slimy would feel good when rubbed into one's face, but he did as he was instructed. His eyes widened in surprise. It did feel pretty good.

"There. Did I get it all rubbed in?"

Remus shook his head. "No, you have some right there," he said, indicating the spot on his own face.

Sirius put his hand on his cheek, feeling for the lotion. "Here?"

"No, here," said Remus, reaching out and running his finger across Sirius' other cheek. This caused Sirius to shiver rather violently. He had to choke back a gasp.

_Okay. Don't get weird. Just ignore. Pretend you didn't notice it, nothing happened. He couldn't have meant anything by that. No way!_ He tentatively reached towards the indicated spot, and rubbed the rest of the lotion in.

"Alright, is it all gone?" he asked, somewhat shakily.

Remus shook his head and scooted closer. "It's difficult without a mirror. Here, let me help." He spoke softly, as if he were afraid of something.

Sirius did gasp this time as Remus touched his cheek, almost tenderly. He moved his hand all along the side of Sirius' face and across his forehead. It gave Sirius goose bumps, but it felt very, very good. Sirius was afraid he was going to pass out any second. His breathing was heavy, and his face felt rather hot. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Remus seemed satisfied.

"Th-thanks," Sirius said, breathlessly, "You were right...lotion does feel good."

Remus simply nodded, looking a bit embarrassed. Sirius looked at him and noticed that Remus was looking down, focusing his eyes on the floor. He watched him for a moment, then worked up his courage to say something.

"You know, you missed some too." Sirius said, very quietly. _I can't believe I'm doing this!_ This felt like a really stupid idea, but he couldn't resist.

Remus' head shot up. "Really? Where?" he asked, staring wide-eyed at Sirius.

Sirius couldn't seem to make his voice rise above a whisper. "Yeah, right there," he said, running his fingers along Remus' jaw, resting them on his chin for a moment before pulling away. Remus shuddered and dropped the lotion bottle. It hit the floor with an incredibly loud smacking noise. Remus stared at it for what seemed like a long time, before raising his head to look at Sirius.

"Where was that again?" he asked, so softly that Sirius could barely hear him. Remus quickly looked back down at the lotion bottle.

Sirius couldn't stop himself. He didn't say anything in reply. He knew it was a bad idea, but it was so hard to resist. He placed his hand underneath Remus' chin, tilting his head up and meeting his eyes. Remus looked terrified. Before he knew what he was doing, Sirius captured Remus' lips with his own. It was slow at first, tentative, and questioning. When he found no resistance, it grew more passionate, and intense. Sirius had never felt more elated, until he suddenly realized exactly what he was doing.

He broke off the kiss and shut his eyes, fearing the hatred he would see in Remus' face. Sirius' entire face was crimson. He was sure Remus' was even redder, but more than likely from anger.

"Oh God! Moony, I'm so sorry. Bloody hell, I shouldn't have done that. It was really stupid of me. It's just that, well...I guess I...I love you dammit! And it's been killing me for ages. I suppose it doesn't really matter now though, because you probably want to kill m..."

Sirius didn't get to finish his sentence. He was cut off by Remus, or more specifically, by Remus' lips, which had suddenly found their way back to Sirius' mouth. Sirius opened his eyes wide in surprise, and swiftly shut them again. He was shockingly not dead, but he was definitely in heaven, or close to it. He returned Remus' kiss with fierce passion. He wrapped his arms around the lithe werewolf in a tight embrace, as though he feared he might fade away at any moment. They didn't break apart until air became an absolute necessity. The two boys were silent for a moment, both gasping for breath.

"Oh." was all Sirius could manage to say, even after he had caught his breath. Remus laughed softly and through his arms around Sirius, whispering in his ear, "I love you too Sirius."

Sirius grinned widely. "Do you? Wow, I'd never have guessed. I thought you only kissed people you hate."

"Hey! I'm trying to be serious. Don't tease me." Remus leaned back to look at the boy sitting beside him. "I really do love you. Very, very much."

"I know. I love you too. But not as much as I love that chocolate bar you have hidden in your trunk. Maybe you should let me eat it to get rid of your competition."

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sirius Black, you are incorrigible," he said with a laugh.

"I know, but I also know that you love me for it. And I love you for that, but I still want that chocolate."

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Okay, so this is not the last chapter. I need to have James find out somehow, but I haven't decided when or how yet. Anyway, please let me know how I did and kindly hit that little button down there. I really appreciate getting reviews, they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The more reviews I get, the more I am motivated to write. If you have and suggestions, don't be afraid to tell me. I need all the help I can get. Thanks! 


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